Cord Cutting Meditation + An Awakening Experience

Five years ago, I closed my eyes for real.

I had tried mediation but I didn't allow myself to break any barriers. I stopped any feeling with thought. I was bound to allow peace in my mind this time.

I took a deep belly breath and envisioned dark air leave my lungs through my nose. I let it all out. Every negative thought and sat blank. White. Nothing.

I suspended in this feeling for a moment, tiny thought crept in, I pushed it along, another tiny thought, pushed it along. Again in silence. Waiting. Breathing slowly.

Palms out, open on my folded knees.

Somewhere between the suspension of thought and feeling of grounding, my heart felt it before my mind. I felt what can only be said as a true awakening. The feeling of white light beamed through the top of my head. I was too afraid to open my eyes as I didn't want to interrupt the feeling that was happening...

In this moment, I cut cords. I physically felt "cords" connected to me being cut. The relationship I began in college and negative energy that flowed with that was immediately cut, I felt him leave me instantly. It was done. gone. no more connection to this person.

Cord to my childhood, my parents divorce, strong expectations for a certain family member, cut.

I saw myself standing in front of me in my mind, from behind the light shined so bright that I could hardly see myself anymore. The space completely filled with light.

As quickly as it came, it left taking years upon years of baggage and negativity. I was unbound from my past, FREE to live this life as ME.

This ignited my soul candle within. I started to ask, "Who am I?"..."What do I want to accomplish in this life time?"..."What makes me happy?"...."What makes me feel alive?" these are questions I never asked before. I lived within the cookie cutter box of living someone else's dream. It was time to step foot as myself, unbound.

I'm brought to my meditation pillow daily. Not seeking this same experience but to connect and ask for guidance.  Remaining open and willing to receive.

Meditation has changed my life. I know it can change others. I've seen my world change completely; do you see a sunset as just another day? Or a miraculous experience that you're even here - from conception, how did you get picked? How did you get so lucky to observe that sunset? What is your gift to the world? How will YOU live your life?

I know, loaded right? But if I die tomorrow, I don't want to say I didn't try to understand my purpose to why God allowed me to come here.

Try this simple meditation, take 2-10 minutes and let your mind simply clear.

The Bohemian Blondes Quick Meditation Guide

Sit in a comfortable seated position
Close your eyes
Take a deep belly breath in, out, in, out slowly
When a thought comes in, let it move on, you don't need to pay attention now
Surrender your mind, body and let your spirit levitate
Pause when you feel an opening / if you do not, stay still and practice over time
Let whatever come forward in, if it's a message, words or feeling - think of this as your higher self
Don't think too hard, just listen and be still

Stay in this place with no interruptions for 2-10 minutes

Practice when you can, stay in-tune with the call to come back to your meditation practice daily.

Enjoy the ride!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Body

BODY

When I first began my weight loss, I hit the gym. I had no idea where to begin so my routine consisted of the eleptical and some weight training. I was there between 4-5 times per week. Lost weight in the beginning but by June of 2015, I hit a hard plateau. My body got used to the routine and I couldn't shed the last 10 to meet my goal weight before our wedding in October. I needed to discover a whole new way of working out, I needed the extra push. Low and behold one of my friends was holding a challenege group online, which is where I discovered Beachbody on Demand. Last month I cancelled my gym membership and workout completely from home. The programs are between 30-40 minutes long so i'm in and out and on with my day. When my body began to change, I was hooked. This my friends, is a HUGE relief to fighting the little voice. Exercise increases endorphins and other feel good chemicals automatically decreasing your stress levels. 

Helpful Articles

• What Happens to Our Brain During Exercise 
• Try this amazing yoga video by Tara Stiles. 

Parsnip Fries

This is a MUST try! Believe me when I saw that they actually DO taste like a french fry. Now, it's not going to be a greasy salty bomb - but a great alternative when you want to feel like you're getting a little 'cheat' meal.

Parsnip Fries

5-6 large parsnips
1 tablespoon of melted organic coconut oil
pink himalayan sea salt
black pepper
onion powder
garlic powder
parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cut up your parsnips in fry slices. TIP: try to keep them nice and fat, the skinnier they are, the higher chance they'll burn - I learned this the hard way. Bigger = Better!

Once they're all cut up, add them to a large bowl. Drizzle your oil to coat each fry. Then add a few cracks of pink salt and pepper. Add a few shakes of onion powder and garlic powder. Toss all the parsnips and lay out on a pan and pop into the preheated oven.

Bake for 15 minutes, turn them over and again for another 15 minutes. Watch closely towards the end as the smaller pieces might be done before the larger pieces.

When they're done, give a minute or two to cool. They're best when eaten hot.  When they cool down they start to get tough.

Sprinkle some parmesan cheese on top. Ready to eat!

Notice the potato-like consistency when you bite into it? Isn't it a great alternative? I know, I felt like I found a gold mind as well!

Pair with your favorite dipping sauce. For us, it was organic ketchup! But barbecue, hot sauce, mustard.... would all be good.

Note: you can use extra virgin olive oil in place of coconut but coconut it going to be a healthier oil for you to use.

Enjoy!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Skinny Greek Dip

This is one of my go-to's for a quick and refreshing holiday dip! See step by step pictures below and at the end is the final recipe. Enjoy!

Made a little "sample" for Drew since he was watching me like a hawk :)

 Skinny Greek Dip

* Red pepper (1)
* Green Pepper (1)
* Cucumber (2 small)
* Tomato (1)
* Yellow onion
* Black olives (1 can)
* Hummus (Garlic is our favorite)
* Feta Cheese
* Plain Greek Yogurt (1/2 cup)
* Parsley
* Pita chips

Chop up all your veggies nice and fine (see images) and set aside. Layer the bottom of the pan with hummus then a thin layer of plain greek yogurt on top. Next add your chopped veggies. Lastly add the crumbled feta cheese and top with chopped parsley! Presto! That's it and it's always a major hit.

Don't forget those pita chips! The garlic ones are great or try out the garden flavor too, we really enjoyed both.

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

refresh. reflect. reconnect

By day three is when we started to feel the pure relaxation of our honeymoon. Both of us have been working so hard this past year too fulfill our goals. Summer was filled to the brim with concerts and endless networking opportunities. Fall was filled with our wedding, reception, incredible family and friends. It's been one of the best years of our entire lives. I feel like we've been climbing and climbing this life-mountain together and as we reach the top to look down upon all the we've done in 2015, it's awe inspiring.

2016's Vision Board is filled and ready. I'm incredibly excited to embark on our next journey!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

My Struggle with Panic Attacks

It all began with this little voice inside my head, "You're not good enough"...


FIRST PANIC ATTACK

I was 19, in college and dating someone who I had been with for a year at the time, we were out to dinner with his mom, dad, sister and brother. Everything was going fine externally, but this little voice in my head crept in and began saying, “you’re not good enough for this family...you’re never going to gain their approval...” I felt almost paralysed by my own thoughts. My body started to tense up, face flushed red, heart began to pound fiercely with no sign of stopping. Was I having a heart attack? What the hell is going on? Why am I doing this now, in front of them? Why? I excused myself from the table, went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Pupils were dilated, I felt like I had a fever, for a moment I thought maybe I’d even throw up? 5 agonizing minutes later while standing in the bathroom stall, my heart returned back to normal and the feeling of utter panic began to loosen its grip on my body. I returned to the table which literately felt like coming back from battle. No one noticed but me. 

THREE DAYS LATER

I was preparing to give a speech in front of my marketing class. I wasn't out of the ordinary for me to get nervous before giving a presentation, which only seemed to happen in the beginning and once that was over, I could breathe and carry on through the rest. This time was different. This presentation was close to 30 minutes long, I had been working on it for weeks. Perfecting and rehearsed in front of the mirror, I was ready. I kicked it off with a strong opening and climbed through the initial stage fright, the stress of being in front of everyone subsided. 20 minutes in, the little voice returned, “you’re going to mess up...what IF you stumble on this next sentence....what IF you turn beat red in front of your classmates – heck, you even have friends in here....what IF you can’t speak and lose control…. right…now” I froze, it was back. My heart began to pound and unlike being at the dinner table, I couldn't simply leave in the middle of my presentation. The tight grip quickly ensued my entire my body - my mind - my voice, I stopped speaking. I looked down at my note cards to words that I couldn't make out anymore. What as I looking at? gibberish? I could no longer concentrate. I looked at my teacher who gave me a ‘come on’ gesture. I took a deep breath and reminded myself, this will soon be over. Push through. I set my note cards down and spoke from my rehearsed memory. I have no idea what came from my mouth for the next 10 minutes, I was on autopilot. There, I’m done, I finished. I excused myself right after the presentation. I broke out in tears on the way to the bathroom. What was going on with me?  ....Why?

From then on, anxiety stamped it’s evil blueprint into my subconscious mind and for a long time, there it stayed. 

The frightened feeling of ‘when will the voice return’ haunted me day in and day out. I was simply afraid of being afraid.  In college, it was easy to deal with the stress, I drank. I could deal with the numbing effects of alcohol, it shut the voice up. I gained weight (a lot) and neglected to listen to what my body and mind really needed. In addition, the multiple breakups from my on and off again boyfriend lead me to binge-eat my feelings. It was a rollercoaster ride that crescendoed after 3 and half years. There has to be a resolution...

WELCOME CHANGE

The morning after the break up, I headed for a salon with a picture, I wanted DARK hair. I wanted to make a statement to myself that I was leaving this old lifestyle behind. I wanted change so badly right then and there. I wanted to SEE that change was possible becuase there wasn't time to look back and dwell in my negativity anymore. I went in that day selected the color and said, YEP! Lets do it. 

Looking back this was such an exhilierating thing to do, but as I saw my reflection, I felt my whole demeanor change. I was ready to move forward. 



RESEARCH

I googled every sort of  holistic treatment for anxiety and panic attacks one couple imagine. I didn't want to numb my problems with medication, I needed to address the real root cause. I found tools along the way the slowly broke down the layers.


FITNESS

Time and time again I would read the benefits associated around working out. I started well over two years ago and made it a non-negotiable to at least move my body 30/40 minutes per day. Upon doing this, I noticed the negative energy slowly releasing from my muscles. I even became a morning fitness junkie. 


FOOD

This is when I truly discovered  this thing called, "clean eating". I sign up for grocery store tours, met with nutritionist at the gym, joined clean eating blogs, bought books and FILLED my tank with clean eating knowledge. I implemented a completely new lifestyle of eating and wouldnt you know, I slowly noticed that the anxiety and panic was becoming few and far between. 


PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I dove in deep to self help books. Learning my triggers and bringing fears to the surface. One afternoon while reading, Girl Boss a sudden wave of energy flew through my veins, I woke the hell up! This had happened one other time (explained below) and I knew then that in order to move forward, I needed to get out of my OWN way. I was blocking so many things in my life that were based on fear.... fear of the panic attack.


MIND

Enter, Meditation. Never in a million years would I think sitting on a pillow in the corner of my room would have such profound abilities to change my mind. My first Google search for stress relief and guided meditation, Gabrielle Bernstein popped up. THANK YOU UNIVERSE for Gabby! I began by doing one guided meditation from Gabby per night. It was hard at first to concentrate. I felt the need to ‘think’ while in meditation but I slowly let the thoughts fade and the real work began. You’ll notice there’s a lot of reference to Meditation on my blog, that’s how strongly I believe in this practice and hope it can help others. By meditating for 10 minutes a day, you’re increasing the grey matter in your brain. Sound crazy?  

Helpful articles

• Your Brain on Meditation
• Watch this video from Deepak Chopra
• How to start Mediation
• Benefits to Meditating

My incredible experience with meditation happened over 5 years ago, the full post can be read here. 

It’s difficult to be so open about my struggle with anxiety - but I hope this reaches people whom like myself, needed to be awakened. I’m not perfect and this journey has only begun.  Stay with me and check back when you can for helpful tips and tricks. 

xo, The Bohemian Blonde