2015 Was Filled with LOVE

Sipping down some morning coffee and taking a moment to reflect in what an INCREDIBLE 2015 I had. I'm SO lucky to have been able to experience so many exciting and new things. The earlier part of the year my mom and I flew to Hawaii to welcome my sister and her fiance back home to the US, it was a wonderful "meeting point" in the Pacific Ocean that we'll treasure for years to come. The trip was filled with early morning sunrises, family talk, hiking, photography, meditation and delicious food (I love me some fresh ceviche!)

SPRING

Solo road tripping through the mountains. My radio didn't work so nearly 3 hours were spent being present and soaking in the view just before taking a flight to Chicago.



OUR DATE WITH DESTINY 

After all the hard work that Drew had been putting into his music career the Universe threw him a once in a lifetime gig - his band, The Morning Kings head lined at Soldier Field in Chicago! Standing in the crowd, you could feel the electricity from the band, the passion behind their work, the fans dancing. The whole event was absolutely everything they could have wished for.

I on the other hand, I had a 3 hours glimpse into the incredible world of having a Media / All Access pass to photograph the band and network my heart out to everyone. I stocked up on personal business cards prior to the show and handed them out to anyone I spoke with. To this day, the connections made in Chicago feel like god-sent individuals that I know I can reach out to at any given time. {THANK YOU Universe, lets do that again!}







SUMMER

Summer was my hardest weight loss push before our wedding, I had been on a clean eating and fitness routine that quickly came to a hult. I hit a major plateau that I couldn't bust through. I tried everything from two juice cleanses, longer work outs, more salads and nothing was happening. The weight stuck. The more I couldn't lose the weight, the more stressed I would get. How will I fit into my dress - which mind you, was already purchased and was tight when I got it. I did what many brides do, get a small size and proudly tell yourself, "I'm GOING to lose 10 pounds!"

I saw a good friend of mine talking about the 21 Day Fix and the benefits she was receiving after trying shakeology. I thought to myself, why not? She's lost a ton of baby weight which im sure is much hard than what I'm going though! I gave it a shot and ordered the kit.

The first week I lost 3 pounds and after the full 21 days, I lost 11 total pounds. I now proudly fit into my wedding dress....and bonus, I felt SO good in my OWN skin! I even had to alter my dress - brought in IN two inches around my thighs!

When friends, family and co-workers noticed the difference, I couldn't help but talk about the successes of the program I had just experienced. I began researching more about the company and after a couple meetings with my friend who signed me up, I then became a health and wellness coach.

Coaching promptly started towards the end of July and right off the bat over 50 women joined my little private community. I take such PRIDE in being able to lead a team that I now call, The Motivated Mavens. We share our workouts with each other, clean eating recipes and tips for staying on track. Over the holiday season is when this group truly made me stay on point - being a coach, I cannot slack as I know that when I do, my team will.

FALL

Oh, If I could replay Fall I would in a heart-beat! Drew and I completed a year old journey with the church through our martial counseling classes. Now, before I say this is something that I wanted to do -- is a FAR cry from the truth. I went into our first class with such a wall up, I didn't want to open up to a complete stranger about my relationship with Drew, let alone be told how to think when it comes to religion. I honest, I begged Drew to somehow get out of doing this, I was beyond unfortable. He said to me, "Lets just see how the first class goes and if you're still feeling this way, we'll look at alternatives" We went, I built my wall before entering through the front door, I listened more than spoke and towards the end of the class, bursts into tears. The counselor broke down the wall and I let it happen. I knew that in order to be the best wife for Drew, I needed to open up. And from then on, we picked up an entire year of classes, we added on two at the end because we simply loved what we were getting out of it!  I saw Drew completely vulnerable (unlike anything I had witnessed up until this point) and within myself, a transition to a state that the two of us could come together like never before in our 5 years of dating.

Moral of the story, there's always going to be time to work on us to improve and break down walls when they start to rise. It's a journey that we so proudly get to take together.

WEDDING + RECEPTION

October 22, we said "I do" in front of immediate family. Toasted this new life at a formal dinner which just so happened to be the same restaurant Drew took me on our first anniversary. We rented out the basement wine cellar and LOVE filled the room! Family is our rock and to have this time with them in celebration made both of ours hearts full.

October 23, was our friends and family reception #BarbesPalooza. We rented out a huge barn in Jordan, MN. We had so much help from family and friends that the place came together in a matter hours! It was everything we could have hoped for and MORE!

We're husband and wife, ready to take on this world together!

MINI MOON

October 24 we took the long drive up to the North Shore of Minnesota to relax and come back to the beautiful place that Drew purposed - right down there on the water. He had built a bonfire and got down on one knee. Coming full circle to where it all began was a beautiful reminder of how far we've come.

MUSIC

Soon after returning home and the planning of the wedding behind us, Drew took to the studio to begin recording their new album. In true recording tradition, I swung by their first night to deliver chili so the boys can keep their energy high without having to worry about food. I also got to listen to the first couple tracks - hang on tight, this is the best work i've heard these guys complete to date! 2016 is going to be one hell of a ride.

DIGGING DEEP

My work picked up as we now transition to our busy season but my love for blogging, photography, fitness and meditation all came barreling in after 5pm. Many nights were spent working on my "side projects" which are now feeling like full time, which I couldn't be happier! Midnight was often my time to crawl into bed and dream about what tomorrow will bring.  I dedicate my evenings and weekends to my Motivated Mavens community, building a tribe of empowering women and soul searchers for their call to wellness.

HONEYMOON

11 days of pure bliss. Island hopping, incredible conversations with Drew, timelines created for goals together and individually and a true step back from our 9-5 jobs and side jobs. I took about 3 days to really let vacation sink in. Both of us so used to putting in extra hours each day that unplugging felt strange and unsettling. But in order to truly relax, we needed to let go of booking gigs, blog posts, connecting with coaches on my team, reading emails.... it all had to stop for this precious time.

We got to know the staff, learning about their lives and meeting with new people from around the globe. Often asking, "What's your story" over, "what do you do?"  Your work doesn't define you, nor should it unless it's your dream to be doing that. Who ARE you as a person, what makes you happy, what do you enjoy doing? It's interesting to see the faces when you ask probing questions like this, but it should be part of our connection to others otherwise the conversations never really get that deep.

We took a day to kayak (while I tried to flip our kayak numerous times - Drew hated,  ha!) Swam and snorkeled along the worlds second largest reef. Sipped tequila on an uninhabited island and spoke about the storm rolling in. Saw little fish, BIG fish, lizards and loads of crabs! Watched every sunset from our balcony. Slept under the stars on our roof top bed. Made wishes on over 50 falling stars (we got lucky with a metro shower when we were there).

Left with a tank full of love and ready for the new year, together as husband and wife.

Things to look out for in 2016: Youtube channel, Drew's album release, travel to the Caribbean, Instagram inspiration +The Bohemian Blonde, a new self discovery component for fearless leaders to join me. I'm letting all negative thoughts go and opening up to what the Universe has in store. There's no better time than the present and we're not getting any younger, it's now or never to make a change and start living the dream that it's knocking on the door.

I'm ready! We're Ready! Lets DO this!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Cord Cutting Meditation + An Awakening Experience

Five years ago, I closed my eyes for real.

I had tried mediation but I didn't allow myself to break any barriers. I stopped any feeling with thought. I was bound to allow peace in my mind this time.

I took a deep belly breath and envisioned dark air leave my lungs through my nose. I let it all out. Every negative thought and sat blank. White. Nothing.

I suspended in this feeling for a moment, tiny thought crept in, I pushed it along, another tiny thought, pushed it along. Again in silence. Waiting. Breathing slowly.

Palms out, open on my folded knees.

Somewhere between the suspension of thought and feeling of grounding, my heart felt it before my mind. I felt what can only be said as a true awakening. The feeling of white light beamed through the top of my head. I was too afraid to open my eyes as I didn't want to interrupt the feeling that was happening...

In this moment, I cut cords. I physically felt "cords" connected to me being cut. The relationship I began in college and negative energy that flowed with that was immediately cut, I felt him leave me instantly. It was done. gone. no more connection to this person.

Cord to my childhood, my parents divorce, strong expectations for a certain family member, cut.

I saw myself standing in front of me in my mind, from behind the light shined so bright that I could hardly see myself anymore. The space completely filled with light.

As quickly as it came, it left taking years upon years of baggage and negativity. I was unbound from my past, FREE to live this life as ME.

This ignited my soul candle within. I started to ask, "Who am I?"..."What do I want to accomplish in this life time?"..."What makes me happy?"...."What makes me feel alive?" these are questions I never asked before. I lived within the cookie cutter box of living someone else's dream. It was time to step foot as myself, unbound.

I'm brought to my meditation pillow daily. Not seeking this same experience but to connect and ask for guidance.  Remaining open and willing to receive.

Meditation has changed my life. I know it can change others. I've seen my world change completely; do you see a sunset as just another day? Or a miraculous experience that you're even here - from conception, how did you get picked? How did you get so lucky to observe that sunset? What is your gift to the world? How will YOU live your life?

I know, loaded right? But if I die tomorrow, I don't want to say I didn't try to understand my purpose to why God allowed me to come here.

Try this simple meditation, take 2-10 minutes and let your mind simply clear.

The Bohemian Blondes Quick Meditation Guide

Sit in a comfortable seated position
Close your eyes
Take a deep belly breath in, out, in, out slowly
When a thought comes in, let it move on, you don't need to pay attention now
Surrender your mind, body and let your spirit levitate
Pause when you feel an opening / if you do not, stay still and practice over time
Let whatever come forward in, if it's a message, words or feeling - think of this as your higher self
Don't think too hard, just listen and be still

Stay in this place with no interruptions for 2-10 minutes

Practice when you can, stay in-tune with the call to come back to your meditation practice daily.

Enjoy the ride!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Body

BODY

When I first began my weight loss, I hit the gym. I had no idea where to begin so my routine consisted of the eleptical and some weight training. I was there between 4-5 times per week. Lost weight in the beginning but by June of 2015, I hit a hard plateau. My body got used to the routine and I couldn't shed the last 10 to meet my goal weight before our wedding in October. I needed to discover a whole new way of working out, I needed the extra push. Low and behold one of my friends was holding a challenege group online, which is where I discovered Beachbody on Demand. Last month I cancelled my gym membership and workout completely from home. The programs are between 30-40 minutes long so i'm in and out and on with my day. When my body began to change, I was hooked. This my friends, is a HUGE relief to fighting the little voice. Exercise increases endorphins and other feel good chemicals automatically decreasing your stress levels. 

Helpful Articles

• What Happens to Our Brain During Exercise 
• Try this amazing yoga video by Tara Stiles. 

Parsnip Fries

This is a MUST try! Believe me when I saw that they actually DO taste like a french fry. Now, it's not going to be a greasy salty bomb - but a great alternative when you want to feel like you're getting a little 'cheat' meal.

Parsnip Fries

5-6 large parsnips
1 tablespoon of melted organic coconut oil
pink himalayan sea salt
black pepper
onion powder
garlic powder
parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cut up your parsnips in fry slices. TIP: try to keep them nice and fat, the skinnier they are, the higher chance they'll burn - I learned this the hard way. Bigger = Better!

Once they're all cut up, add them to a large bowl. Drizzle your oil to coat each fry. Then add a few cracks of pink salt and pepper. Add a few shakes of onion powder and garlic powder. Toss all the parsnips and lay out on a pan and pop into the preheated oven.

Bake for 15 minutes, turn them over and again for another 15 minutes. Watch closely towards the end as the smaller pieces might be done before the larger pieces.

When they're done, give a minute or two to cool. They're best when eaten hot.  When they cool down they start to get tough.

Sprinkle some parmesan cheese on top. Ready to eat!

Notice the potato-like consistency when you bite into it? Isn't it a great alternative? I know, I felt like I found a gold mind as well!

Pair with your favorite dipping sauce. For us, it was organic ketchup! But barbecue, hot sauce, mustard.... would all be good.

Note: you can use extra virgin olive oil in place of coconut but coconut it going to be a healthier oil for you to use.

Enjoy!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Skinny Greek Dip

This is one of my go-to's for a quick and refreshing holiday dip! See step by step pictures below and at the end is the final recipe. Enjoy!

Made a little "sample" for Drew since he was watching me like a hawk :)

 Skinny Greek Dip

* Red pepper (1)
* Green Pepper (1)
* Cucumber (2 small)
* Tomato (1)
* Yellow onion
* Black olives (1 can)
* Hummus (Garlic is our favorite)
* Feta Cheese
* Plain Greek Yogurt (1/2 cup)
* Parsley
* Pita chips

Chop up all your veggies nice and fine (see images) and set aside. Layer the bottom of the pan with hummus then a thin layer of plain greek yogurt on top. Next add your chopped veggies. Lastly add the crumbled feta cheese and top with chopped parsley! Presto! That's it and it's always a major hit.

Don't forget those pita chips! The garlic ones are great or try out the garden flavor too, we really enjoyed both.

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

refresh. reflect. reconnect

By day three is when we started to feel the pure relaxation of our honeymoon. Both of us have been working so hard this past year too fulfill our goals. Summer was filled to the brim with concerts and endless networking opportunities. Fall was filled with our wedding, reception, incredible family and friends. It's been one of the best years of our entire lives. I feel like we've been climbing and climbing this life-mountain together and as we reach the top to look down upon all the we've done in 2015, it's awe inspiring.

2016's Vision Board is filled and ready. I'm incredibly excited to embark on our next journey!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

My Struggle with Panic Attacks

It all began with this little voice inside my head, "You're not good enough"...


FIRST PANIC ATTACK

I was 19, in college and dating someone who I had been with for a year at the time, we were out to dinner with his mom, dad, sister and brother. Everything was going fine externally, but this little voice in my head crept in and began saying, “you’re not good enough for this family...you’re never going to gain their approval...” I felt almost paralysed by my own thoughts. My body started to tense up, face flushed red, heart began to pound fiercely with no sign of stopping. Was I having a heart attack? What the hell is going on? Why am I doing this now, in front of them? Why? I excused myself from the table, went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Pupils were dilated, I felt like I had a fever, for a moment I thought maybe I’d even throw up? 5 agonizing minutes later while standing in the bathroom stall, my heart returned back to normal and the feeling of utter panic began to loosen its grip on my body. I returned to the table which literately felt like coming back from battle. No one noticed but me. 

THREE DAYS LATER

I was preparing to give a speech in front of my marketing class. I wasn't out of the ordinary for me to get nervous before giving a presentation, which only seemed to happen in the beginning and once that was over, I could breathe and carry on through the rest. This time was different. This presentation was close to 30 minutes long, I had been working on it for weeks. Perfecting and rehearsed in front of the mirror, I was ready. I kicked it off with a strong opening and climbed through the initial stage fright, the stress of being in front of everyone subsided. 20 minutes in, the little voice returned, “you’re going to mess up...what IF you stumble on this next sentence....what IF you turn beat red in front of your classmates – heck, you even have friends in here....what IF you can’t speak and lose control…. right…now” I froze, it was back. My heart began to pound and unlike being at the dinner table, I couldn't simply leave in the middle of my presentation. The tight grip quickly ensued my entire my body - my mind - my voice, I stopped speaking. I looked down at my note cards to words that I couldn't make out anymore. What as I looking at? gibberish? I could no longer concentrate. I looked at my teacher who gave me a ‘come on’ gesture. I took a deep breath and reminded myself, this will soon be over. Push through. I set my note cards down and spoke from my rehearsed memory. I have no idea what came from my mouth for the next 10 minutes, I was on autopilot. There, I’m done, I finished. I excused myself right after the presentation. I broke out in tears on the way to the bathroom. What was going on with me?  ....Why?

From then on, anxiety stamped it’s evil blueprint into my subconscious mind and for a long time, there it stayed. 

The frightened feeling of ‘when will the voice return’ haunted me day in and day out. I was simply afraid of being afraid.  In college, it was easy to deal with the stress, I drank. I could deal with the numbing effects of alcohol, it shut the voice up. I gained weight (a lot) and neglected to listen to what my body and mind really needed. In addition, the multiple breakups from my on and off again boyfriend lead me to binge-eat my feelings. It was a rollercoaster ride that crescendoed after 3 and half years. There has to be a resolution...

WELCOME CHANGE

The morning after the break up, I headed for a salon with a picture, I wanted DARK hair. I wanted to make a statement to myself that I was leaving this old lifestyle behind. I wanted change so badly right then and there. I wanted to SEE that change was possible becuase there wasn't time to look back and dwell in my negativity anymore. I went in that day selected the color and said, YEP! Lets do it. 

Looking back this was such an exhilierating thing to do, but as I saw my reflection, I felt my whole demeanor change. I was ready to move forward. 



RESEARCH

I googled every sort of  holistic treatment for anxiety and panic attacks one couple imagine. I didn't want to numb my problems with medication, I needed to address the real root cause. I found tools along the way the slowly broke down the layers.


FITNESS

Time and time again I would read the benefits associated around working out. I started well over two years ago and made it a non-negotiable to at least move my body 30/40 minutes per day. Upon doing this, I noticed the negative energy slowly releasing from my muscles. I even became a morning fitness junkie. 


FOOD

This is when I truly discovered  this thing called, "clean eating". I sign up for grocery store tours, met with nutritionist at the gym, joined clean eating blogs, bought books and FILLED my tank with clean eating knowledge. I implemented a completely new lifestyle of eating and wouldnt you know, I slowly noticed that the anxiety and panic was becoming few and far between. 


PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I dove in deep to self help books. Learning my triggers and bringing fears to the surface. One afternoon while reading, Girl Boss a sudden wave of energy flew through my veins, I woke the hell up! This had happened one other time (explained below) and I knew then that in order to move forward, I needed to get out of my OWN way. I was blocking so many things in my life that were based on fear.... fear of the panic attack.


MIND

Enter, Meditation. Never in a million years would I think sitting on a pillow in the corner of my room would have such profound abilities to change my mind. My first Google search for stress relief and guided meditation, Gabrielle Bernstein popped up. THANK YOU UNIVERSE for Gabby! I began by doing one guided meditation from Gabby per night. It was hard at first to concentrate. I felt the need to ‘think’ while in meditation but I slowly let the thoughts fade and the real work began. You’ll notice there’s a lot of reference to Meditation on my blog, that’s how strongly I believe in this practice and hope it can help others. By meditating for 10 minutes a day, you’re increasing the grey matter in your brain. Sound crazy?  

Helpful articles

• Your Brain on Meditation
• Watch this video from Deepak Chopra
• How to start Mediation
• Benefits to Meditating

My incredible experience with meditation happened over 5 years ago, the full post can be read here. 

It’s difficult to be so open about my struggle with anxiety - but I hope this reaches people whom like myself, needed to be awakened. I’m not perfect and this journey has only begun.  Stay with me and check back when you can for helpful tips and tricks. 

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

Time to Relax

As time becomes more available, we welcome in our long lost friend in bursts of inspiration. 
The Wedding is now behind us and we're able to reflect upon our journey, together. This is where I said yes to the most incredible man. 

Photo cred: Drew Barbes

xo, The Bohemian Blonde

our "mini moon"

We're back from our 'mini-moon'!

The North Shore of Minnesota is truly the best kept secret to this state. It was only a couple years ago that we stumbled upon Bluefin Bay while traveling with friends and we've been hooked ever since. It seems as though the surroundings change by the minute, from the waves, to the skyline, to the leaves this time of year -- it's a time to really slow down and take it all in. 

​Here's our trip in a couple snap shots!

Easy Apple Chips

Here's a super easy snack idea!

Slice up an organic apple, sprinkled a little pumpkin pie spice and popped in the oven for 40 minutes at 220. Crunch and ENJOY!

xo, The Bohemian Blonde